Raleigh the Walking Dictionary

It was very obvious to me that my 10-year-old daughter, Raleigh, was going to be a clever one from the get-go. While we were still in the hospital, she would sneak her tiny little body out of her bassinet, somehow winding up right beside me in the bed every time I awoke. Just a few hours old, she'd lock her tiny little eyes with mine and offer a look as if to say, "Now, you know and I know you didn't get me out of there. But here I am!"
Whether or not I was hallucinating from labor drugs is still up for debate, but it seemed Raleigh employed this "jumping out of bed" tactic well into her first year of life, and she had me wrapped around her tiny little fingers. And her tiny little fingers were always wrapped around my hair. Literally. She did not let go of my hair until she turned two; I have vivid memories of leaning back in the passenger seat of the car so that Raleigh could tug my hair from her perch in the middle seat to calm down or drift off to a nap.
She started talking, I mean, really talking, around 13 months. And while most babies can throw out several basic words at this point, Raleigh knew all of these and then some, and she was starting to put together complete sentences. She would do this frequently under her breath, responding to the conversations around her at the appropriate times and using the appropriate context. My mom and I (who spent the most time with little Raleigh) would look at each other, stunned:"Did she just say that?," my mom would ask. "Yeah, I think she did!, I would respond. We got such a kick out of this advanced pattern of speech that we began to taunt her for using big words. Two of her best words were "nervous" and "genius." So before long, we had her saying "I'm a nervous genius." And when Raleigh caught on that we were asking her to deliver on-demand, she got smart and started saying, "I'm NOT a genius!" every time we asked her to perform.
As Raleigh got older, around 7 or so, she learned how to combine her genius nature with clever wit. One day, we were on our way to a farm out in Harrodsburg, Kentucky. When we were getting close, Kyla asked me how much longer the drive would take. "5 or 7 minutes," I said. Suddenly, Raleigh piped up from the back seat,So, it's not six? I looked back at her through the rearview mirror and she had a giant grin plastered across her face. My little smartie was also a smartass!
Though she would prefer I call her a smart "donkey."
See, Raleigh is very particular about words and the way in which they are used. She's the first to come up with clever puns and double meanings for everything we say. She's good at math, too. Which is why her friends at school call her a "walking dictionary and a human calculator."
A few weeks ago, when I was totaling my Goodwill donations on an Excel spreadsheet, my little human calculator stood beside me and multiplied the columns in her head, coming up with the answers before I could even find them on my own calculator! The kicker? She was right every time!
Raleigh's outstanding vocabulary skills frequently enable her to talk over the twins' heads, while also enabling Kevin and I to play head games with her. One day, she came into our room and told us she was "parched" and "famished." As she knows we think she is old enough to make her own snack, Kevin and I asked her to calculate how long she thought it would take for one of us to go to the kitchen to make her a snack! (These sort of statements set Raleigh off into a fit of giggles).
Another favorite activity of Raleigh's, besides playing with words and numbers, is to find loopholes in a situation as they work to her advantage. Especially when it comes to following the rules of the household. A few days ago, Kevin told her to stop standing on the table. "Ok," she smiled, as she continued to stand and dance. When Kevin became frustrated, Raleigh informed him that she was never standing on the table; she was standing on the table bench.
Today, Raleigh was eating her snack in our room even though it is common knowledge that such practices are not allowed. When Kevin told her to get her plate off the bed, she said (rather enthusiastically), "ok!" and proceeded to take the plate off of the bed as she was directed--but--instead of taking it to the kitchen as she knew she should, she tossed it onto the floor beside the bed and pranced out of the room empty-handed. Then she just giggled. Raleigh has us right where she wants us: She knows we can't get mad at her for being irreverently clever. In fact, we have cultivated such skills. What Raleigh knows is that in these types of situations, we are just as impressed as we are frustrated!
Yesterday morning, though, we actually got the best of Raleigh for a change.
The conversation went something like this:
Raleigh, (returning from a weekend at her dad's house): "Can I get some more of that medicine?" (Both Raleigh and Izzy had been taking Mucinex packets for the past few days per doctor's orders. They were orange-flavored and sugary, and we teased Raleigh relentlessly about her new addiction and how it could lead to harder things like, say, cough drops).
She started spouting off her symptoms: cough, sore throat, blah blah, blah, winter cold....
Kevin: "Well, if it's just a simple winter cold, what's your excuse gonna be in the summer when you're still begging for it?"
Raleigh: "I'm not gonna be sick in the summer."
Kevin: "Everybody thinks they can quit whenever they want to. But before they know it, they can't hold a job....wait a minute...do you have a job?"
Raleigh (smiling): "No. I'm a kid!"
Kevin: "See? It's already worse than I thought!"
(Raleigh then kicks Kevin in the shin as she utters unintelligible mumbles and groans).
The next day, when Raleigh was ready for another dose, Kevin teased her about hearing Pink Floyd coming from her room late at night and other equally ridiculous things. And though these comments went straight over Raleigh's head, she put up with it long enough to get her fix. But then, when she inadvertently spilled it all over the floor and needed a replacement packet, Kevin didn't let her hear the end of it. He joked that we should have never let her and Levi go to that Phil Lesh & Friends concert with us. And when she wanted her snack later, he said she had a clear case of the munchies, etc., etc.
Truth be told, Raleigh is a great kid with a kind heart and a pleasant disposition. But she is wicked smart and dangerously clever. And though she no longer teleports herself for snuggle sessions, Raleigh is always up to something extraordinary.