Wii are Family

I should admit that I am a well established techno-phobe. I suppose I could blame it on "2001" (I mean the movie not the year). When I was a kid Hal really freaked me out and for that matter so does Bill Gates. Pac-Man on the Atari is still advanced video gaming for me. I am one of those sad fools that you see in the coffee house that can't get the computer to do what she wants fast enough so she just keeps pushing the button with increasing force and repetition as if communicating in morse code. Yes, I am one of those people and no it never works.
For the most part, I still only write with a pen and paper even though it creates much more work. It just feels better to me, though I must admit my living room looks quite a bit like that shed The Unibomber lived in. I don't have a Blackberry or iPhone. I think my phone can do more than make calls but I wouldn't know since I pretty much restrict myself to dialing and answering. I just recently accepted that maybe digital photography is here to stay. And I completely despise all of the home video game systems including the Wii.
I really tried to give it the benefit of the doubt. The Wii involves getting off your hiney and moving more than your thumbs. That's an improvement to be sure. And it is marketed as if its a great way to play with the family. I however, have come to the conclusion it is not a good way for me to play with my family.
Before this weekend, it had been a while since we had played. Because of the time that had elapsed, I somehow managed to forget how quickly it reveals some of our lesser traits. First of all, I behave badly after losing. I am a terrible loser and because of my continued unfamiliarity with technology it is a total inevitability. I have the slowest motor skills on the planet. Most people wouldn't play this slow if they were on barbiturates. Now, I think overall, I am a good mom and model good behavior. Losing gracefully is clearly my Achilles heel however, and I often make a total ass of myself pouting over Guitar Hero. Meanwhile, the glee my daughter takes in defeating me only makes me worse! Sam accuses everyone (including those not even playing) of undermining his abilities by standing too close or speaking or doing something really offensive like looking at him. Ray gets totally OCD about the Wii and will not stop until he meets whatever arbitrary goal score he has set for himself. Does this really sound like fun family time to you? To me it sounds more like a Dr. Phil episode. I can only imagine what pearls of wisdom that goon would have for us.
So I thought it might be better if we got a game where we would compete against ourselves and the activities encouraged more physical fitness. So we got Wii Sport. I thought I had issues before! When you start playing this game, you have to step on the Wii board so it can weigh, measure balance, center of gravity, etc. When I stepped on it, the Wii voice actually shrieked "Oh!" like it was in pain from the weight of me! Seriously?!? I have had two kids and could probably stand to lose 20 lbs. but I am not going to accept any trash talk from a computerized stair step! So my question is who invented this Wii and did they know that it could make an otherwise nice little family into a crew of belligerent neurotics? Shouldn't there be a warning on the box or a deprogramming feature? I may be a dinosaur when it comes to technology but I can't help but think there is a better way to spend family time. Call me old fashioned but I think I miss the good old days when it was real sports in the back yard and an actual family member that implied you were fat.
-M